Allow Me to Digress

In my "Post Indepence Day Post," I wrote about two of my favorite books.  It was a very pleasant discovery today to find cards where I used write favorite parts of books I had read.  I have almost forgotten that I used to do it years ago because I was afraid to "dirty" my books.  Now, I don’t hesitate on writing on them, underlining or highlighting parts I like. They’re my books anyway, and like the old worn-out velveteen rabbit, books that have I put markings on are precious and loved. (I’m not talking about textbooks hehehe

On Dependence

This is a conversation between Corrie Ten Boom and her father, from "The Hiding Place," Corrie Ten Boom’s biography.  Corrie Ten Boom is a holocaust survivor. 

"Corrie, when you and I go to Amsterdam - when do I give you the ticket?"

"Why, just before we get on the train."

"Exactly.  Our wise Father in heaven knows when we’re going to need things, too.  Don’t run out ahead of Him, Corrie.  When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need, just in time."

———-

When Corrie was going through tough times (If I remember it right, it was a time when she was broken-hearted because the man she loved chose to marry someone else.), she was reminded of what her father told her when she was young.  (Later on in her life, this also gave her strength as she went through the toughest part of her life, being in the concentration camp.)

"Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger, you can bear it.  For now, you must trust me to carry it for you."

There are answers to this and all my hard questions - for now I was content to leave them in my father’s keeping.

On Freedom

Here’s something from Victor Frankl:

"You can take away my wife, you can take away my children… my freedom, but there is one thing no person can ever take away from me - and that is my freedom to choose how I will react to what happens to me."

How can one be free?  It was dependence that set Corrie free.  She was dependent on the One who knows what’s best for her - the only One who can see the entire picture.  To be free is not to be bound by worries - just doing your best and letting things be. Doing your best can be accepting the present situation or fighting for what you think should get you to the situation you think is best.  Someone said that being wise is knowing which things you have to accept bravely, or fight against bravely. That’s my version… the original version is a prayer which goes like this:

"God, grant me serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Ok now, how do i put Victor Frankl’s quote in here…. I can’t organize my thoughts now but I hope you get the idea because I do. Haha! I must no longer be making sense.  Sorry, this is just another one of my ramblings.

I haven’t written anything for October and I feel I have to write one before the month ends. (Years from now, when I go through my blogs, I’ll have an idea of what happened to me at least in each month. Hehe :) 

I got a call today from someone I can consider a mentor and got a short "sermon" on opportunities.  She was offering me something that I don’t think I can commit to right now, so I said, I’m sorry I can’t do that because I’m doing this and this.  She said that I should never turn down opportunities even if I don’t see it happening anytime soon.  I have to consider it and at least express my interest if I am interested.  Maybe in the future, when I can actually do it, I can still go back to that.  Confusing?

What is the best opportunity in the world?  Opportunity to love and be loved. Haha! Forgive my attempt to come up with a quote on opportunity.  I’ve already found a lot of quotes and couldn’t agree more.  Can’t think of anything else to add to those for now.  Here are better quotes I just thought of posting about opportunities in general.

Unknown Author: Second Chance Quotes
Opportunities are never lost; they are taken by others.

Sun Tzu: Second Chance Quotes
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

H. Jackson Brown Jr.: Second Chance Quotes
Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.

Greg Hickman: Second Chance Quotes
Opportunity is just success looking for a place to happen.

Thomas Alva Edison: Second Chance Quotes
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Napoleon Hill: Second Chance Quotes
Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.

B. C. Forbes: Second Chance Quotes
Opportunity rarely knocks on your door. Knock rather on opportunity’s door if you ardently wish to enter.

Unknown Author: Second Chance Quotes
Opportunity seems to have an uncanny habit of favoring those who have paid the price of years of preparation.

Cotton Mather: Second Chance Quotes
Our opportunities to do good are our talents.

from: Quotations.about.com - Opportunities

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. ~ Francis Bacon

Every situation, properly perceived, becomes an opportunity. ~ Helen Schucman

Ability has nothing to do with opportunity. ~ Napoleon Bonaparte

I always tried to turn every disaster into an opportunity. ~ John D. Rockefeller

Remember, the greater the opportunity, the fewer are those who see it. ~ James Cook

The real opportunity for success lies within the person and not the job. ~ Zig Ziglar

I find myself looking around for other new, interesting oppotunities to dive into. ~ Sally Ride

The great opportunity is where you are… Every place is under the stars, every place is the center of the world. ~ John Burroughs

Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises. ~ Demosthenes

Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day. ~ Sally Koch

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. ~ Milton Berle

Opportunities multiply as they are seized. ~ Sun Tzu

All adversity is really an opportunity for our souls to grow. ~ John Gray

Opportunity is a bird that never perches. ~ Claude McDonald

Unlimited opportunities can be as potent a cause of frustration as a paucity or lack of opportunities. ~ Eric Hoffer

Opportunities are often things you haven’t noticed the first time around. ~ Catherine Deneuve

The world and its host of inventions, ideas, and marvelous creations are a tribute to man’s ability to turn problems into opportunities. ~ Scott L. Taylor, The Opportunity in Every Problem

from: http://www.dailycelebrations.com/

It’s better to be late than never, but sometimes, never is better than late.

- A. T. Choa, world-reknowned singer  / stage actress, philanthropist

1.  Have you ever felt what it’s like to fall with no one to catch you?   (haha… inspired from a song? Help me, I’m falling… )

2.  What will you do if you fell, slipped, or tripped? (But still very much conscious, nothing serious…)

a.  Get up and say "o ano, kaya nyo yun?" (inspired by Iya

b.  cry in pain so that people will take pity instead of laugh at you

c.  play dead

3.  Why is it funny to see someone slip, trip, or fall?  Is it just something Filipino?  (Maybe not. I’m reminded of America’s Funniest Home Videos hehe

4.  Why it is that when you fall, you can’t keep yourself from smiling (or even laughing at yourself) even if it hurts?

5.  Why do smart people fall?

Maybe this time, I won’t fall… Why did I come up with these questions? Just asking. :)  This list is part of the list of questions I ask when I got nothing to do (well not that I have nothing to do…just having a break

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,

Life is but an empty dream

For the soul is dead that slumbers

And things are not what they seem.

All the 6th graders in the room were nervously waiting for their turn. Those lines kept on running in my head repeatedly and my stomach was rumbling as I anxiously anticipated my class number to be called to get over the nervousness.

"G-5!"

That was my class number.  The poem is one of my favorite poems (not that I like a lot of poems) and it does make a lot of sense right now than it was when I was 12. When I recited the poem in class then, I was able to go through it without forgetting a line. But then the teacher complained that I didn’t recite the poem with enough feelings. (Or any feelings at all? I can’t remember hehe:) Maybe now I can do it better So why am I suddenly reminded of this poem? Maybe it’s because I’ve been doing a lot of thinking - soul-searching - asking myself questions such as "Should i have ice cream or chocolate cake for dessert?"

Here’s the entire poem.

A Psalm Of Life

I just came across this… I didn’t know Joseph Campbell until now.. he seems to be famous. (hehe :)  "Bliss" here seems to have a different definition from what I have in mind. 

"if you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be."

"…Wherever you are — if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time."

More from his website: "Yet it is important to note that following one’s bliss, as Campbell saw it, isn’t merely a matter of doing whatever you like, and certainly not doing simply as you are told. It is a matter of identifying that pursuit which you are truly passionate about and attempting to give yourself absolutely to it. In so doing, you will find your fullest potential and serve your community to the greatest possible extent."

Whenever I hear these songs, I am reminded of someone.

Power of Two (Indigo Girls)

Now the parking lot is empty
Everyone’s gone someplace
I pick you up and in the trunk I’ve packed
A cooler and a two day suitcase
‘Cause there’s a place we like to drive
Way out in the country
Five miles out of the city limit we’re singin’
And your hand’s upon my leg

So we’re ok, we’re fine
Baby I’m here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
I’m stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
Look at them together then we’ll take them apart
Adding up the total of a love that’s true
Multiply life by the power of two

I know the things that I am afraid of
I’m not afraid to tell
And if we ever leave a legacy
It’s that we loved each other well

‘Cause I’ve seen the shadows of so many people
Trying on the treasures of youth
But a road that fancy and fast ends in a fatal crash
And I’m glad we got off to tell you the truth

So we’re ok, we’re fine
Baby I’m here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
I’m stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
Look at them together then we’ll take them apart
Adding up the total of a love that’s true
Multiply life by the power of two

All the shiny little trinkets of temptation
Something new instead of something old
But all you gotta do is scratch beneath the surface
And it’s fool’s gold
Fool’s gold

Now we’re talking about a difficult thing
Your eyes are getting wet
I took us for better and I took us for worse
And don’t you ever forget it

Now there’s steel bars between me and a promise
Suddenly bend with ease
And the closer I’m bound in love to you
The closer I am to free

So we’re ok, we’re fine
Baby I’m here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
I’m stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
Look at them together then we’ll take them apart
Adding up the total of a love that’s true
Multiply life by the power of two

"Gustung-gusto ko talaga yang kantang yan!" she would say.  Actually, attached with this song are bad memories of sleepless nights for our network project, especially when the "monster" part is sung. It is her favorite song, but it will never be my favorite. haha

Another song, from Toy Story, which we watched together:

You’ve Got a Friend in Me

You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you’re miles and miles
From your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said
Boy, you’ve got a friend in me
Yeah, you’ve got a friend in me

You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
If you’ve got troubles, I’ve got ‘em too
There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you
We stick together and can see it through
Cause you’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me

Some other folks might be
A little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
But none of them will ever love you
The way I do, it’s me and you 

Boy, and as the years go by
Our friendship will never die
You’re gonna see it’s our destiny
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me

The only Japanese song we’ve memorized, Nagai Aida:

Nagai aida matasete gomen
Mata kyuu ni shigoto ga haitta
Itsumo issho ni irarenakute
Sabishii omoi wo saseta ne

Aenai toki juwaki kara kikoeru
Kimi no koe ga kasureteru
Hissashiburi ni atta toki no
Kimi no egao ga mune wo saratte iku

Ki zuita no anata ga konna ni mune no naka ni iru koto
Aishiteru masaka ne sonna koto ienai

Here’s another one, this song was very popular then, back in 4th year college, by M2M:

Mirror, mirror hanging on the wall

you don’t have to tell me
who’s the biggest fool of all
Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me
and bring my baby back
bring my baby back to me

Mirror mirror lie to me
Show me what i want to see
To meeee…
Show me what i want to see

We had our philo version inspired by Dr. Ibana:  Meno, meno hanging on the wall… (Was it you who came up with that or was it me? Or was it your weird "feeling close" seatmate whose name I still remember but I won’t mention? hahaha

The entire "Beauty and the Beast" soundtrack reminds me of her:

Belle:
Little town
It’s a quiet village
Ev’ry day
Like the one before
Little town
Full of little people
Waking up to say:
Townsfolk:
Bonjour!
Bonjour!
Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!
Belle:
There goes the baker with his tray, like always
The same old bread and rolls to sell
Ev’ry morning just the same
Since the morning that we came
To this poor provincial town
Baker:
Good Morning, Belle!
Belle:
Good morning, Monsieur.
Baker:
And where are you off to, today?
Belle:
The bookshop. I just finished the most wonderful story
About a beanstalk and an ogre and a -
Baker: That’s nice. Marie! The baguettes!
Hurry up!

She can be any of the characters in the song on her own, which amazed the Japanese during our conquest of Disneyland.

There are many other songs but I have to stop right here and get back to work.

I didn’t hear any of these songs recently. Maybe I have to fix the first sentence of this post. 

Lalyn reminds me of these songs. 

She is a song herself, a happy song… (mwahahahahaha…. tama na trying hard na ako? Corny!:) Lalyn, basta yun na yun!)

I’m looking for a picture of Lalyn and me to post here, but I can’t find a decent one! Considering she’s one of my closest friends in the Philippines, in Asia, in the world, in the universe, that is weird, isn’t it? Weirdox!

Happy birthday, Rariinsan!

My so-called retreat to privacy is postponed for now.  I’m back to blogging. Sadly =(  I will not write about something too personal - I would not want to write about my love life, whether it exists or not. (I’m not telling if it exists or not! Hehe :)  Nor do I plan to write about people I loathe, if there’s any.  I will write nothing about my "extreme" (can’t think of an adjective - real? true?) joy, sadness, excitement, frustrations, anger, hopes, and others that will expose too much of myself.  I wouldn’t elaborate on my plans of conquering the world, too.  This is as far as I can share myself to the world wide web - another of my "journey of the stomach" entries.       

Enough of my ex-unwritten rules on blogging.  Yesterday, I was craving for pesto. Badly.  I forgot to have some when I had the chance. 

I asked a couple of friends who love to cook, Clara and Aimee, and asked what basil leaves are in Filipino.  It’s just basil leaves, Clara said.  Aimee said they’re called dahon ng basil. That’s what I thought too Searched the internet for the recipe and found out I have almost all the ingredients Olive oil - check!  Parmesan cheese - check! (Two essentials I brought with me this time - Parmesan cheese and low calorie non-fat salad dressing.) Garlic, pepper, salt - check!

The only missing ingredients are pine nuts (can be substituted for pili nut according to a Filipino website) and of course, basil leaves.

I have vowed not to eat nuts and chocolates, two of my favorite things in the world, for my entire stay here.  I had a chocolate binge two weeks ago and just before I left, I indulged in pili nuts.  A friend ventured to buy those for me from Bicol, despite Mayon Volcano eruptions.  (Thanks, Ate Jeny! Hehehe:) So good-bye chocolates and nuts - for now.    

Oh,  it just dawned on me that I did have pesto before I left.  But it wasn’t pasta, I wanted pesto pasta yesterday. I had it with bread.  Lately I’ve noticed how the information retrieval process of my brain is delayed for some reasons which I don’t know.  Getting old?  For instance, when something reminds me of someone, a student or a friend whom I haven’t seen for a long long time, I spend some time recalling what his name is!  Memory delay disorder. Is there such a thing? But good thing is, I still remember in the end.  Better late than never. 

Ok, so back to my search for basil leaves.  I went to the market looking for "bah-sil leaves," not knowing what they really look like.  I tried "bey-sil" too, but to no avail.  The website says fresh basil leaves!  But then too bad I just have to settle with McCormick basil leaves in those little bottles, as Aimee suggested.  Looking for that was not easy too, in this place.  Finally, in the third grocery I visited, I found one little bottle with bits of  - not fresh, of course, but dried basil leaves.  33 pesos a bottle.  So can I make pesto sauce for my pasta with that?  Would it taste even half as good as pesto made of fresh basil leaves?  On the bright side, I didn’t have to put those in the blender. 

For midnight snack, I had pesto on toasted bread!

Here’s what I found out about pesto from wiki:

Pesto is an Italian sauce that originates in the Liguria region of Northern Italy, specifically in the city of Genoa (pesto alla genovese), although at least one other well-known variant exists: pesto alla siciliana, a sauce from Sicily that replaces the basil of Genovese pesto with tomato. Pesto has been known, in various forms, since Roman times, and probably was imported from North Africa.

I read in a website that "pesto" comes from the Italian word "pestare" which means "to pound." That was how pesto was made before, using mortar and pestle, not using food processor or blender.  Click here for pesto sauce recipe. 

Here’s how i made my pesto.  I just mixed the following:

2 tablespoons of Mc Cormick basil leaves

1 tablespoon of Parmesan cheese, or as much as you want

1 or 2 cloves of garlic - minced

olive oil - You would know how much to put.  Trust your instinct. 

a dash of salt and pepper

The result?  Modesty aside, I loved it!  I must be too hungry.  Fresh leaves would have tasted a lot better, I’m sure.

The question prevails:  What are basil leaves in Filipino? 

What if I used kangkong leaves instead? Hmmm…..

Where can I buy basil seeds?  (I remember having searched for those two years ago for a friend in Beijing. Now I know why he wanted those!) I want to grow basil.

What is kangkong in English?  Questions seem never-ending, but I just have to accept that there are some questions in life that would be left unanswered, or sometimes, one needs patience to get the answers.  And by the way, it’s not having the answers, it’s about asking the right questions, they say.  Ok, I’ll stop right here.   

Just had a chat with my friend Aimee, who’ll be celebrating her nth birthday tomorrow!  With her birthday coming up, I rememer this quote that I really like, one I used to email to friends on their birthdays.  In case you’re feeling old, reading this might help you bring back your youth. 

“Youth is not entirely a time of life – it is a state of mind.  It is not wholly a matter of ripe cheeks, red lips or supply knees.  It is a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions, a freshness of the deep springs of life.  It means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity, of an appetite for adventure over love of ease.

Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years.  People grow old only by deserting their ideals.  Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul. 

Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair – these are the long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit back to dust.  Whatever your years, there is in every being’s heart the love of wonder, the undaunted challenge of events, the unfailing child-like appetite for what next, and the joy in the game of life. 

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.

In the central place of every heart there is a recording chamber; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer and courage, so long are you young.  When the wires are all down and your heart is covered with the moss of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then, and then only, are you grown old.” 

-  General Douglas MacArthur during his 75th birthday speech, quoting from Samuel Ullman’s (1840–1924) poem

To Aimee, happy birthday

To Walt, ikaw - forever "Young." Ayan may nadedicate na ako for you

Here’s something that I found while cleaning up my room.  Nothing original, must have paraphrased stuff from the books and handouts.

I remember my favorite philo teacher asking on the first day of class, "Why aren’t philo subjects offered to freshmen? Why does it have to be on your junior year?" It is because a freshman or sophomore, in general, wouldn’t have enough experience to make sense of those philosophical stuff or the phenomenology of things or whatever.  It does make more sense now than it did before. Beware: sleep inducing.  Excerpts from something I must have written 5 to 6 years ago in preparation for a philo oral exam:

Thesis statement:

Itinuturo ng damdamin ang pagpapahalaga, subalit hindi ito ang halaga mismo.  May lohika ang puso na iba sa lohika ng katwiran, bagaman hindi ito labag sa katwiran.  Nagbubunga ng kapayapaan ang solidaridad ng mga pagpapahalaga.

Mahigpit ang ugnayan ng damdamin at pagpapahalaga.  Mahirap unawain ang damdamin dahil malikot ang kilos nito.  Ngunit sa pamamagitan ng pang-uunawa sa kaayusan ng mga pagpapahalagang itinuturo ng damdamin ay mauunawaan rin ang damdamin at pagpapahalaga.  Tinuturo lamang ng damdamin ang pagpapahalaga kung kaya sa pagsusuri ng damdamin, higit na dapat na bigyang pansin ang pagpapahalaga kaysa sa damdamin mismo.  Halimabawa:  Kamay na tumuturo sa buwan.  May katumbas na pagpapahalaga ang damdamin.  Kung may damdamin para sa isang bagay, masasabing may halaga ito sa isang tao.  Sa damdamin unang naranasan ng tao ang pagpapahalaga.  Halimbawa:  Katuwaan - pagpapahalaga sa aliw; maluwalhati - pagpapahalaga sa kabanalan, panghihina - pagpapahalaga sa biyolohiko.

May sariling katwiran ang damdamin, ayon kay Scheler.  Di tulad kay Kant na nagsasabihing ang damdamin ay isang magulong larangan ng mga inklinasyon,, ang damdamin para kay Scheler ay naaantas sa isang kaayusan.  Hindi naman nangangahulugang itinatakwil na ang lohika ng katwiran.  Kinakailangan ito upang mapaglinaw ang sinusuri.  Kung nais matuklasan ang larangan ng mga papapahalaga, sundan ang damdamin.  Kung nais patunayan ang mga halaga, gamitin ang isip.

Napapakiramdamang mabuti sa pangangapa sa damdamin, tulad ng isang musikero.  Ngunit hindi ito laging tama.  May mapangwasak - ressentiment, at mapaglikha na katangian ito - pagpapakumbaba at solidaridad. 

Magbubunga ng kapayapaan ang solidaridad dahil nagiging bukas ang isang tao sa pagpapahalaga ng iba at lumalawak ang buhay solidaridad.  Ang solidaridad ay pakikibahagi sa larangan ng pagpapahalaga ng iba.  Ipinagdiriwang, yumayaman, dahil sa halagang umiiral sa daigdig. 

So did I just bore you to death?  Ang pagkabagot marahil ay tumuturo sa pagpapahalaga sa aliw. Haha :)  Anong halaga ang itinuturo ng kagustuhang mag- blog?  Pagpapahalaga sa pamamahagi ng mga ideya o ng bahagi ng aking sarili sa mga kaibigan.  O kahit naman walang magbasa, maganda rin namang balikan ang mga sinulat ko dito para sa aking sarili.  Maaari rin namang ang pagbloblog ko ay pagpapahalaga sa walang hanggan, na lagpasan ang sarili - kahit na mamatay ako ay nandito pa rin ang blog ko, kung hindi mag sasara ang Friendster. 

Ay ewan.